Thursday, December 8, 2016

Time for an Honest Dialogue


Like a lot of people, I've been thinking a lot about politics, government, and our country in general in the month since the presidential election. Anyone who knows me won't be surprised to hear that I wasn't happy about Donald Trump's election. I've got some strong misgivings about Trump's cabinet choices, but have been trying to adopt a wait-and-see attitude. And I've been trying to think of what good could come out of this presidency.

Thinking of potential silver linings of the Trump election, maybe one is this: that our country will finally have a dialogue, a reckoning, about the racism and sexism that continue to pervade our country. Because lately, the talk has not been abstract about systemic "isms" and white or male privilege. It's clear-cut, fear-based and violent actions of individuals that we are hearing about.  If we are paying attention, we currently see reports of individual acts of racism and misogyny being reported at an alarming rate since the election. There has been a documented uptick in reported hate crimes across the country. I read this week that NYC had a documented increase in hate crimes of 35% this past year. In my own town, I've come across reports of intimidation based on race at my son's high school, at my own high school alma mater, and at a local highly-respected university. And a mom at my son's elementary school shared that her cousin was assaulted on the street the day after the election by a man saying "It's official! We can grab 'em now!"

It seems to me that Trump's election rhetoric has made a lot of folks feel that they've been given license to say and do things that were completely unacceptable a month ago. What has long been simmering beneath the surface, with an implicit rule that certain sentiments should not be uttered or acted on in one's public life, has now been exposed. We can no longer use our privilege to ignore the reality for people of color and for women. These reports are in our face, and we shouldn't turn away. System sexism and racism can be ignored by exercising privilege: you don't have to drive through certain neighborhoods to see how "the other half" lives, you can consume as much media as you like and pick and choose whose perspectives you get exposed to, you can pretend that things are better than they are. But blatant, hateful acts perpetrated by individuals at an increasing rate cannot be explained away or brushed under the rug.

So, white people who want to consider themselves "woke": be brave and help shape the conversation among your white friends and neighbors. Talk to people who might not agree with you, don't just preach to the choir. And men who want to be one of the "good guys": listen to women's perspectives, seek them out in your media choices and conversations. And all of us with some measure of privilege need to consider that to make things right in this country, we will probably have to give up some stuff--starting with some of our unspoken and unconscious assumptions about the way the world should work. Maybe if we start to reckon with the fact that these individual acts of violence we're seeing are borne out of a systemically racist and sexist culture, and that we've all had a hand in perpetuating this culture, we will begin to heal.

I hope and pray that we will be brave as a community of Americans. I want to be proud of my country and my countrymen. And while the election has impressed upon me the need to pay attention to current events and weigh-in on issues with my elected officials, it has also impressed on my the importance of having brave conversations with the people I come into contact with. Politics and political action are important, without them we wouldn't have roads, or libraries, or labor laws. But conversations are the links in our culture, and they help shape the narrative of our culture. I don't claim to be the most brave or even curious conversationalist, but I'm gonna try. Never in my life have I felt it so imperative to engage in honest conversations about our country and what it is and could be. I have a feeling a lot of other people feel the same way. I sure hope so.